Wednesday, August 4, 2021

The Struggle Bus

 I know we've all heard about pandemic "burnout" and all that jazz, but is pandemic inadequacy a thing? When it comes to my writing, I have felt so inadequate about it since the start of the pandemic. Like I've been trying to edit the second Avery Lawson book for the last year and some change, and I've barely made a dent in it. I've been working on it in starts and fits, and when I am able to get into it, I get maybe three or four pages done. This is why I'm getting bummed out because I know I'm able to write, edit, and publish a book in a decent amount of time. I mean in 2018, I put out two books, one of which was outlined, written, edited, and published with quick turnaround. So quick, I fcking impressed myself, but I'm seriously having a hard time putting the pedal to the metal on this second Avery Lawson book.

This feeling of inadequacy is wreaking havoc on my confidence as a writer, and I've been questioning if I even want to continue with being a writer. Most of the time, I come to the conclusion that I'm going to write regardless if I "quit" or not. It's just in my nature to always be writing something. It's an ingrained habit I can't seem to just let go of. So, since I've decided I'm not going to quit, I've been trying to work on some other projects like outlining the next Detective Miller book or even some of my unfinished fanfiction, but even working on any of those seems like a chore than an exciting escape I can get lost in. So I'm sort of floating in this mindless abyss where I'm highly aware of what I should be doing writing wise, but unable to focus or do anything with it.

At this point, I'm just trying to find something that will not only enthrall me but also excite me enough to where I want to share it with the masses. The Adventures of Swift actually gives me that feeling, but I also need to edit it. Perhaps I'll work on that, see if it gets my writing engines going again, then I'll jump back into Avery Lawson. Who knows lol. I'm just hoping for a miracle or something. 

Anyway just wanted to type out a quick blog post to let everyone know I am alive and kicking, but on this struggle bus. We'll see what the rest of the year brings since I'll be heading back to the office at some point between September and December. 

Everyone stay safe, and remember to rate and/or review the books you read/listen to. Especially those by indie and self-pubbed authors.

Until next time....

-DJ Small

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